


you're prettier than the art, anyway

by peterandhispirate



Category: Twenty One Pilots, joshler - Fandom
Genre: Art museum, Explicit Language, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, M/M, this is so dumb lmao, tyler asks josh out like a champ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterandhispirate/pseuds/peterandhispirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Look at this guy," the boy snorted to himself, gesturing crudely to the nude sculpture with a smirk. "Got his dick hanging out like an idiot."</p>
<p>It was only when he turned around and found Josh awkwardly staring at him that the grin melted off of his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're prettier than the art, anyway

**Author's Note:**

> so i went to an art museum and this au has haunted me ever since,, here you go

Josh had been watching the short-haired menace scamper around since when the museum opened at nine o'clock in the morning, and he had to say: this was definitely the most interesting thing he'd seen in his five years working as a gallery attendant.

He had watched as the out-of-place visitor romped from exhibit to exhibit, making stupid jokes about the art that he would later chuckle at to himself while the typical, uppity patrons glared at him and moved away.

He seemed to be having too much fun to mind.

Things got really interesting when he stopped in front of a particularly explicit marble statue with a huffing laugh.

"Look at this guy," the boy snorted to himself, gesturing crudely to the nude sculpture with a smirk. "Got his dick hanging out like an idiot."

It was only when he turned around and found Josh awkwardly staring at him that the grin melted off of his face; it was quickly replaced by an expression of absolute horror. "Oh, fuck. I didn't realize anyone else was, um, around."

"It's, uh- it's okay," Josh spluttered, clearing his throat to lessen how painfully uncomfortable this whole exchange was. (It didn't help.) "You're good."

The smile was back, but this time it came with a little laugh that left Josh frowning in confusion with a mumbled "What?"

"Nothing, man, it's just that I was expecting something like _'it's quite all right, sir.'_ Ha." Then there was a hand being offered to him, which he shook awkwardly. "The name's Tyler, by the way."

"Um, Josh. Josh Dun." The handshake lasted a little longer than comfortable, but Tyler didn't seem to mind.

"Well, Josh, I'd really appreciate it if you could help me find the American Renaissance section. It's the only exhibit I haven't seen yet, and I've been looking for it for a straight hour," Tyler informed him as soon as their fingers untangled. "I wanna cover them all."

"Any particular reason?" Josh asked with raised brows, immediately adding in a quieter tone, "I mean, you don't really seem like..."

"An artistic guy?" Tyler supplied with a single eyebrow arched; Josh's face went bright red, and he nearly choked on his own tongue as he scrambled to correct himself: "Ah, fuck, that's not- I didn't mean to-"

"Hey, don't sweat it, you're cool," Tyler cut him off with a light laugh, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder; ultimately easing some of the frantic tension in Josh's muscles. "I totally get where you're coming from. I wouldn't think the guy who goes around laughing at genitalia on statues is very artsy, either- but the whole reason I'm here is because I'm going through some kind of creative slump. Early midlife crisis, or whatever." He paused before adding, "Not so sure I'm gonna find what I'm looking for in pictures of nude women and creepy old portraits, though."

Josh managed a wry snort at that. "And you think you'll find a fresh perspective or something in the American Renaissance exhibit?"

"I dunno, man, maybe. But, between you and me..." When the employee leaned close, he murmured with a grin, "It _is_ fun to watch all these snobs walk around like they're hot shit and stare at some pretty pictures. So no matter if this was a failed mission or not, at least I got some fun out of it, y'know?"

As someone who watched said snobs walk around like they were hot shit and stare at some pretty pictures _every fucking day,_ Josh definitely knew. He could probably write an entire novel on the matter. And then he could write a whole separate book on how many small children he made cry when he (politely) told them not to put their ~~grubby little~~ hands on the artwork that costed more than they could possibly conceive. Who even brings little kids to art museums, anyway? "Didn't you get a map at the front desk?"

"Well, I was _going_ to get one, but then I figured I might as well just head right in. No plans, just let the art take me. Or something. I like to think of it as an artistic choice."

"Ah. Do your 'artistic choices' always get you lost?" Josh snorted; there was no point in being formal by then.

"Yeah, well, you know what they say: art is risk," Tyler replied with a grin. "Now are you going to criticize my artistry or help me?"

"Help you, I suppose. That's what I'm here for. Come on." The rascal blinked several times in quick succession as Josh started forward thoughtlessly down the corridor.

"Wait, aren't you just gonna tell me where it is?" Tyler spluttered in confusion as he scurried after him.

"Might as well show you. Don't want you getting lost again, or something," Josh mumbled, slowing his stride a tad so he could catch up. 

"Don't you have to, I dunno, make sure no one steals or touches anything?"

"I'm going on break in five minutes anyway. Besides," the gallery attendant added as he turned a corner, Tyler sticking close to his side the entire time. "There are plenty of other people to make sure nothing happens to the artwork. It'll be fine."

"If you say so," came the breezy reply. "Lead the way, mister."

Josh simply rolled his eyes and rounded another bend.

As they walked, Tyler had plenty to say- about the museum, about the snobs _at_ the museum, about how it was stupid to make all of the employees wear fancy suits.

(Josh definitely agreed with the last one.)

Tyler almost seemed disappointed when they finally reached the American Renaissance section, promptly ending the conversation; he murmured slowly, "So this is it?"

"Yep. Art from 1876 to 1917." Gesturing forward to the era of artwork, Josh went on to say, "Go ahead and look around. Make some more artistic choices."

Grinning with an amused snort, Tyler replied, "You know what? Maybe I will. Thanks."

They shook hands again; it wasn't as awkward that time.

"Good luck with your early midlife crisis," Josh added wryly as his newfound companion began reluctantly pulling away. "Who knows- maybe you'll find all the answers down these hallways."

"Well, let's hope so." A cheeky wink paired with an impish smile, both of which left the worker gloriously pink-faced. "Thanks again, Josh. Have a nice day."

And Josh was almost too absorbed in staring after him as he started into the exhibit to say "you too."

 ;

Apparently, Tyler's creative slump continued to plague him despite his best efforts, because he wound up at the museum again the next day.

Josh nearly did a double-take when he spotted the short-haired hellion once again snickering at the nude paintings and awkward-looking portraits like an eight-year-old boy.

He couldn't say that it was an unwelcome sight.

Leaving his usual post in order to approach Tyler (who was obliviously preoccupied with smirking at yet another buck naked, bordering-on-pornographic picture), Josh piped up, "No luck with curing your drought of inspiration, I suppose?"

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Tyler spun on his heel to face the gallery attendant with a frustrated little huff. "Jesus, you really need to work on that whole sneaking up on people thing."

"I'll add it to the schedule right under 'watching grown men laugh at naked paintings like a little boy,'" Josh snorted; Tyler smiled unapologetically, showing off endearingly crooked bottom teeth.

"You got me there, buddy," he chuckled innocently with a helpless shrug. "And no, I haven't had much luck with curing my _drought of inspiration,_ as you put it. Which is why I'm back in hopes of doing exactly that."

"Well, something tells me you'd have a lot more luck if you didn't treat an art museum like a comedy club." Josh raised a brow, but Tyler just laughed again.

"That's a tall order. I can't even take funerals seriously." 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" the worker sighed lightheartedly, unable to fight back a small smile. "Some of these people are probably ready to kill you, you know."

"Yeah? Let 'em try. What are they gonna do, attack me with expensive taste and artistic vision?" Tyler snorted carelessly with a roll of his eyes, arms folding across his chest. "C'mon."

"Or just glare at you until your head explodes," Josh mumbled, glancing warily at an old woman with a very pricey-looking handbag as she scowled heatedly at them before turning her attention back to an oil painting of a pretty forest.

"You've got a point there," Tyler murmured with a mischievous little grin as he followed his eyes to the bitter old lady whose back was now turned promptly towards them. "Damn, who pissed in her Frosted Flakes?"

(Josh was beginning to see why Tyler usually didn't go to places like this.)

;

Tyler just kept coming back.

Josh was starting to think that the guy just didn't have any sort of social life, because from the time it opened to the time it closed, he was at the art museum, stupid jokes and puckish grin in tow.

And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, despite all of the ice-cold glares sent his way by snobs with nice clothes but shitty personalities.

In fact, Josh couldn't help but look forward to each brash wink and toothy smile and bubbling, room-filling laugh. It was different than anything he had seen before in his five years of standing around in a show-offy black suit while a bunch of highbrows milled around and stared and nodded at gold-framed canvases on walls.

So, yeah, sue him if a short-haired asshole in a sweatshirt was the recurring highlight of his day.

"Still running low on inspiration?" Josh had asked when Tyler turned up at the museum for what must have been the umpteenth time.

"Yep. Lower than usual, I think," came the ~~unconvincing~~ slow reply.

(Maybe it wasn't even about lack of creativity at that point. Probably. Definitely.)

"Well, feel free to look around, then," Josh prompted with a knowing smile.

As it turns out, he did a lot more sticking close than looking around.

(Josh couldn't say that he minded.)

And as Tyler lingered near the gallery attendant like a little sweatshirt-wearing puppy - which wasn't all that hard, considering Josh basically stayed in the same place at all times - both boys could feel the warmth rising steady on their faces.

"Hey, Josh..?" Tyler began after a beat of bashful silence. He fiddled with his sweatshirt strings as Josh turned to peer at his pink face.

"Yeah?"

"I, um- never mind. It's nothing," he mumbled with a shyness Josh hadn't seen before. "Forget it."

"Whatever it is," Josh assured him softly, cursing his flushed cheeks, "you can tell me."

"O-okay," Tyler stammered quietly, abandoning the strings so he could look the flustered gallery attendant chastely in the eye. "I was just wondering, um, if you'd wanna... I dunno. I- ah, fuck, this is hard."

And Josh found himself blurting out "yes" without quite knowing what he was getting at- robbing a bank together? Stealing the moon? Whatever it was, he probably wouldn't be opposed to it.

Tyler blinked. Once. Twice. "So you _will_ go on a date with me? I- I mean, I'm not, um, really sure where... where we would go, I was thinking McDonald's but I know that's not very fancy or romantic or whatever so Olive Garden is fine too- unless you don't think that's very extravagant, either-"

Josh had never really kissed anyone before - Elizabeth in third grade didn't count - but he did know that grabbing Tyler's shoulders in that damned art museum and doing exactly that was one of the best decisions he had ever made.

Tyler whined into it, piano fingers winding their way around Josh's neck. It was wild, weightless, bordering on rough; bitten bottom lips and nipping teeth and feral tongues. It was messy and it was raw and could've gone much farther if Josh hadn't reluctantly pulled away, hands still curled around Tyler's shoulders as he breathed, 

"McDonald's is fine."

And Tyler laughed his signature bubbling, room-filling laugh.

(And maybe, just maybe, all of the typical, uppity patrons had been watching with wide smiles; they started clapping and nodding as Josh hid his pink face in a grinning Tyler's neck.)

"You know what? I think I just found my inspiration," Tyler hummed, and Josh huffed a laugh.

"Oh, shut up."

**Author's Note:**

> hi it's late and this is dumb


End file.
